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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) Movie Review

Adaptation from the Brothers Grimm's fairy tale of Hansel & Gretel, instead of stopping at escaping from a witch after shoving her into the oven and lived happily ever after, this story made them grew up and became witch hunters.

They went all around hunting witches for a living, making money out of it and sworn never to talk about their parents ever again since they were abandoned in the woods by their father one fateful night where they stumbled upon the witch's house. Witches' spells do not work on them for some reason hence making them even more effective witch hunters. Their fame of witch hunting from tales has traveled across everywhere.

And so the story started off them being all grown up and experienced witch hunter. At a town in Germany, the local Mayor had decided to hire Hansel & Gretel to rid of their witch problem since there were many kids missing. They entered when the local Sheriff were accusing of a fair maiden of being a witch and were about to execute her. But Hansel & Gretel stopped him and assured him that the woman is not a witch since she bears no signs of decay in her eyes or teeth or anywhere. Because of their actions, the Sheriff has been in spite of them.

The plan was to hunt for the witches in the morning since it was near nightfall and seemed too dangerous to proceed and hope to find the children and recover them back safe and sound. The Sheriff, not impressed with them gave out bounty on his own to hired folks to go hunt the witches themselves on the night itself. Needless to say, the Sheriff's band failed miserably and the last one perished after conveying the witches' message to the townspeople.

The next day, Hansel with Gretel caught themselves a witch and hold her in the local prison trying to get information out of her to where the children were. They soon learned a much grander plot involving the children and that the witches' had captured all but one child left to complete having a child of each month of the year to carry on with their scheme. This will be executed during the witches' most sacred night, the Blood Moon night. But during their move to see which child is left and to get her to safety, the Grand Witch has already begun to capture the last child where Hansel hurriedly tried to stop.

The Grand Witch let the others handle that while she moved to the prison cell and faced off with Gretel to free the witch captive.

Come next morning, Hansel was lost in the woods where the woman he saved from being burned of witchery, Mina found him. Gretel went off to find Hansel but were harassed by the Sheriff and his deputies. Gretel was surprisingly saved by a troll and was very puzzled when the troll answered that he saved her because trolls served witches.
Hansel & Gretel soon reunited in the most bizarre fashion, they stumbled upon a creepy looking house and thinking it was a witch's house, entered it to strike on a witch but found each other instead. They soon found out that it was their old house when they were kids with their parents. The Grand Witch approaches with the intent of taking Gretel for her heart and soon told them the truth about them and their parents!

Despite being an action movie, this show kinda bores me a little. Jeremy Renner isn't really an action hero kinda material to me even though he played Hawkeye in The Avengers which I find it a tad awkward. If there isn't any good movie to watch anymore, this could be a choice. I rate this 2.5 stars out of 5.

12 comments:

Mr Lonely said...

2.5 stars.. seems not very good o~

foongpc said...

Oh not very good eh? OK will give this a miss : )

TheJessicat said...

I'll be watching this show tomorrow btw! Can't wait!

Tony Teh said...

2.5?! that 50/100! are you serious?! lol. Stephen Chow's Journey to the West 2013, yay or nay?

Kelvin 'finalkt3' Tan said...

@Mr. Lonely
It's so so for me.
@Foongpc
Ya, it's not as good as I wanted it to be

Kelvin 'finalkt3' Tan said...

@TheJessicat
Oh, enjoy yourself. :)

@Tony Teh
LOL. Ya, it's just 50% for me. You think it should deserve lower, huh?

Kian Fai Koh said...

probably THAT hawkeye is more on intelligent hero lol . . . woot? XD

Kelvin 'finalkt3' Tan said...

Both depends on their bow and arrow strategy. LOL

Tony Teh said...

Evidently! haha

Kelvin 'finalkt3' Tan said...

@Tony,
Aw c'mon. At least it's watchable. Not too boring. :D

Tony Teh said...

It's not boring for me because of its many negative things that I needed to remember to write on my review hahaah. Review on Jack Lim's Once Upon A Time

Kelvin 'finalkt3' Tan said...

Well, to me, a movie will get lower if it's boring or unbearable to watch. :)