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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Life Abandonment

Yeah, I know I've been awfully inactive recently not blogging much and not attending events at all.
The truth is I'm succumbed and overwhelmed by tiredness. But it don't seem to be physical tiredness (or maybe it is. Been sleeping as early as 9pm nowadays) but rather an emotional one.

I've resigned from my job a while back and things seem to start going downhill at my workplace. As you know, once you resign from a job, you just don't feel like doing much of a work.

From all my previous companies, once they receive your resignation letter, you either just carry out your duties normally or they stop giving you new assignments. But this company was hell to me!
Once they knew I resigned, they seem to pile up more work than usual on me. I already stated to my superior that I resign because I couldn't stand working with such hard to get along with colleagues. It's taking a toll on me because it's making me a very negative, hot-tempered and reserve person. Yet, they wanna do that to me?
There were MANY times I felt like going berserk and just wanted to start throwing and destroying some things but I maintain control. Then on Friday, I just lost it. I slammed the phone down but manage to quickly regain composure before I went too far as to start throwing some things.

That day, I unhooked the phone so that I would not be further aggravated and refuse to pick up any calls that was on my superior's extension.
Bravo to this company. This is the 1st time in my life that I'm quitting a job and I don't feel like doing anything at all. Usually, I would try to help out as much as I possibly can and try to ensure that the handover was as smooth as possible but this is the first time I actually don't feel like I wanna divulge any information. I feel like I wanna do like what the previous guy did, just clean out my mail, wipe out everything in my PC and not pick up my phone if it's from them.

Anyway, let's not delve about this awful company anymore.

So yeah, all this has left me a bad feeling which I'm trying to get out from. Turned down all the invitation to events during this period simply because I don't feel like mingling and socializing. I also seemed to have lost the heart in blogging recently but am still kinda active in twitter at the moment.

After 1 and a half more working days to go, I'm gonna be free from there. Once that happens, I think I wanna take a break in life about a week or so. Maybe just resist in tweeting and blogging. But then, truth be told, I've still been blogging and tweeting actively but not in my main accounts! But rather, I've been quietly blogging about wild thoughts in my mind which I feel that I wanna keep secret away from the public's eye and I've also started ranting and raving emo thoughts in a 2nd twitter account simply because I wanna keep it private and I also don't wanna bring others down with such negativity.

Ah well. We'll see how it goes in life in the coming weeks to come. Maybe I might just quit EVERYTHING.

4 comments:

AlohaMolly said...

hi Kelvin, don't lose hope..just take a pause and a break...perhaps doing something u always wanted to might give some fresh air and courage to march on :) 加油!

Kelvin 'finalkt3' Tan said...

Well, I don't think I'm losing any hope. But then, I'm not sure why everything seems to feel boring to me recently. I just don't feel like doing anything at all.
Can you say mid-life crisis? LOL. I thought I'm passed that.

Anyway, thanks for your word of encouragement. :)

Caroline Ng May Ling said...

dnt turn so emo la k. :) i actually dnt feel like doing anything dy after submitted my resign letter! xD but i know it doesnt mean an end, its a beginning of another journey, so i hope u do too. :)

Kelvin 'finalkt3' Tan said...

I'm just fresh out of ideas of what I wanna do. Everything seemed so boring to me.