Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Suicidal Thoughts

When people commit suicide, they do it because they have problems which they are unable to resolve. Recently, I had the same desire to end my life again but this time the reason seems to be wee bit queer. Ok, maybe very queer. I just feel like committing suicide because I'm at the peak of my happiness now and just recently, something happen which left me feeling a wee bit down again.

It all started with the entry of a new colleague in my present company (By the way, last year, I broke my record of changing the most job in a year with a total of four jobs in a year). I was happy that the person entered because I did not need to help out in tasks that aren't mine anymore since there's someone to take over. It was hell in the beginning because every single day the person would call me to help out on something and it takes up quite a lot of my time (I even feared my boss would think that I'm sneaking some time off).

A few days after, I was shocked to hear from the person telling me that it was her last day of work. On that day itself, I was in such a foul mood. I felt angry on that day and sad the next day. Just felt like I've wasted those few days doing nothing.

Whilst I was reflecting on that on my sad day, I kinda felt regret knowing that person. I was on a happiness streak for about two years now without ever feeling sad once. Not even my recent accident made me feel down at all. And here it is this person only took a few days to get me down again. What an accomplishment!