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Monday, August 20, 2007

Challenges At Work

It's amazing when I first started this job I was wondering whether I could keep it but now feel like I wanna quit and work in another place. This place of work isn't bad work environment-wise, however I do feel that they lack planning that could sustain the company. In fact, I feel that they like to spend their finances on non-essential things more than what is necessary.

It's amusing that I face these few challenges that I never need to face throughout my working life before:

1) Eating in the cafeteria!
Yes, interesting enough, eating in the cafeteria is my biggest challenge in the company!!! Performing my work/job task is one of the most simplest thing for me to do working in this company. They have yet to ask me to do something I do not know how to do, and even if there are, with just a little bit more perseverance I can find out the answer on how to do the work and do it well.

Why is eating in the cafeteria a challenge? Well, for starters, I am so used to eating my lunch at 12pm, I just seem like one of the oddest person of them all. The biasness in the company is major, if you're a Chinese, you eat with the Chinese, and if you're a Malay, you eat with the Malays. If you're a Chinese, you're expected to speak Chinese, otherwise you'll be an outcast.

Anyway, back to the line of thought. So I always eat at 12pm, but the operators all start going for lunch at 12pm which causes congestion. So I decided to go for lunch at 11.55am, just to beat the crowd going to the cafeteria to get a seat. Here's the problem, I'm neither here nor there. The Chinese take their lunch at the cafeteria, at 11 something. Usually they occupy 1 and a half table or two.But because I'm Chinese, I face a dilemma here. Sometimes, there's empty seat in one of the tables. So, should I sit at the empty seat or not? If I seat at another table all by myself, everyone thinks I'm a snob, a real stuck-up guy. But if I sit with them, then I would impose on them the courtesy to wait till I finish my lunch (god knows who on earth started this kinda ruling upon them). I still haven't decided on this matter. Sometimes I sit with them and sometimes I don't. It depends on whether I feel like it or not. More often than not, I wouldn't sit with them. And they've already gotten the idea should I sit with them that if they all have finished their lunch and decided to leave, they may do so, even if it makes me feel awkward (which I don't know why I should, since I've never had this problem before until now). This weird phenomena has left me to speed up my eating during lunch time again. I even clocked a record time of eating in 8 minutes before! The previous record that I have was during my first job, which was 10 minutes.

Hmm....lost my train of thought on what other weird challenges at work that I face at the moment. Must be the lunch kicking in, making me feel sleepy. Oh well, I'll post again once my thought comes back. Guess these weird challenges, although is really challenging, but not very severe after all.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The Quest For Beautiful Seed

Corrinne May, my favorite artiste, has released her much-anticipated new album entitled 'Beautiful Seed'. A pity it's still not available to order from her pinkarmchair.com website yet. I doubt I could get the album at all in Malaysian shores but according to my friend, he said he saw the 2nd album, 'Safe In A Crazy World' widely available in some stores in Malaysia. So far, with all the browsing around the Malaysian stores that I've done, I've still yet to find a store that sells Corrinne May's album.

Embarrassingly, I have still yet to hear a song from the album at all even though it's now available in stores in Singapore, plus Corrinne giving a preview of some songs in some of her performances.

I do hope that Corrinne will quickly make it available to order from pinkarmchair.com, I'm dying to hear the new album.

Monday, August 06, 2007

A Day of Despair for Me

Came to work this Monday morning with the overwhelming feeling of tiredness. Couldn't concentrate on much as my attention just drifted from one thing to another in almost an instant. More often than not, I find myself lost in my thoughts and daydreams as I carry on my routined life. After a chat with my ever-busy pretty colleague, I drifted towards downstairs to my morning cup of beverage again. Breakfast was a blur and before I knew it, 2 hours had past. As I was heading towards the door out of my department, the phone rang. Since I was the only one in the room at that particular moment, I picked up the phone and answered. Turns out it was for me for my claims.

Like a will-o-the-wisp, I faded towards upstairs again in claiming my money. After that, I stopped awhile to read the morning papers and that's when I was badly hit. No, I wasn't physically hit, but rather, emotionally. The horrid news plastering the few front pages in the morning paper gave me a rather depressing mood in my already vulnerable state.

Since that time in the morning, I wasn't merely tired from an illusionary physical standpoint, but was further tired in a depressing state. If possible, I just wouldn't wanna budge from wherever I am and try to be as inactive as I possibly could.

The feeling of suicidal, homicidal, depression, and tiredness all mixed up inside me was so great today, that I fail to move myself to take my awful free lunch at the cafeteria. Not as if anybody cares. The gruesome depression further intensifies when I read about the ugly truth on nursery rhymes. Some nursery rhymes were designed in remembrance of an event in history which sometimes is quite a cruel truth in which children were never to know of.

Happily not all nursery rhymes are that way, as some are just plain good poems which helps me to appreciate the simplicity in constructing such rhymes. One glimmer of comfort surprisingly came from a very well known nursery rhyme, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Unlike the short version I knew by heart, the original version simply portrays the splendor of the poem and not some childish nursery rhyme. Here's the full version of it:

Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high , like a diamond in the sky
When the blazing sun is gone, when he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light, twinkle, twinkle all the night.
Then the traveler in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so.
In the dark blue sky you keep, and often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye, 'till the sun is in the sky.
As your bright and tiny spark lights the traveler in the dark,
Though I know not what you are - twinkle, twinkle little star.

Interestingly, this made my mind playback to the soothing sounds of Corrinne May's song in my head, 'Fall to Fly', as I drift off dozing off, on and off, as this song continues to play in my head, calming my emotions.