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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Get Ready For Me A StraitJacket

I have lost all sense of rational thinking. I can hardly control myself anymore. On the Thursday before, a colleague of mine decided to say goodbye through MSN after lunch. Early goodbye she said. Afraid she's busy the next day she said. That's when I did the unthinkable. I confessed to her that I have a crush on her. I expected a negative response from her, just unsure of what she would say. The reply came and it was time to move on.

Friday came with me being hyper busy. Already applied for half a day leave, but the whole morning was really packed with me rushing work and attending my department weekly meeting. Strange enough, the meeting was longer than usual. Hence, my plan to leave earlier off work was later than expected. Before I left, my itchy heart just couldn't leave my mind alone which made me message the one I had a crush on another goodbye note. Thought that would be the end. Thought there she goes and I would never be able to see her anymore.

Saturday night came and I attended a colleague's wedding dinner. There was also another wedding dinner that was done by my ex-colleague which I thought 'the one I had a crush on' would attend. To my surprise, she came to the one I attended but sat in the other table. I got really emotional and couldn't help myself. Guess due to the tiredness, alcohol got the better of me where I vomited.

After the wedding dinner, they wanted to go for 2nd round for a karaoke session. Unable to help myself (because she too was going), I too decided to go.

My whole world just crashed that night because when I got home, I message her with my 2nd confession again. As expected, there came no reply. Thought the alcohol would help me sleep but in the end it was one of the most miserable night in my life. I laid in bed with a headache, tried to sleep but couldn't. And so I just manage to lie in bed the whole night, awake. Unfortunately for me, I had to get up the next morning early to be the driver for my friends to get them to a Christian assembly. I only manage to get to bed again at 6 pm. It was by far the worse feeling of tiredness I have ever felt.

2 comments:

A Girl said...

Crazy! Madness! Irrational! Call it what you want but they still mean the same thing to go to all the hassle and do something for a girl who has no feelings for you. Remember the story of a man who wrote a letter to a girl everyday telling of his undying love for her? In the end, she married the postman instead. You cannot change a girl's heart. Once her heart is already made up, there's no turning back. But after a few years down the road, you'll realise what a fool you've been. That's called the experience of life.

Kelvin Tan said...

Interesting comment.
Yet truthful.
Don't think I need a few years to realize what a fool I've been, I've already realized it from the moment I started doing it!