Monday, July 30, 2007

Back To Where I Started

The 3 days Christian Convention that I attended has finally ended. My escapade of rushing to finish my work as well as the three days holiday that I took off from work finally ended. What a week it was. It started out on a Monday where I went out from my company after an almost half day at work to get things for my company. And that's the end of my Monday! Tuesday came with me bringing in the new products that I've purchased for the company and started meddling with it straight away in addition to rushing my other work that was still pending to be finished off. On that day, my colleagues have organized a farewell for one of my company staff too but I declined their offer to joined them due to wanting to finish my job before my holiday which starts on Wednesday, the next day. To my surprise, I manage to finish way ahead of time but later on did more testing on the new products in order to get more results. In the end, I ended up working longer than my usual working hours and rushing away to reach home as soon as possible to get to my Christian meetings on that day.

The holiday that came the next day, really got me tied down doing all my errands without my car as I've sent it to the workshop for some tune-up before I start on my long journey down towards Malacca.

All was well the next few days, since there were no hiccups, everything went according to plan from the smooth journey down to Malacca to the coming back again from Malacca.
Here's the weird thing that happen during me being in Malacca. A colleague of mine called me and asked me, "So how's the job there?" And I replied, "What job?" Turns out, they thought I left to try out another job to see whether I liked it or not. After explaining of my disappearance, my colleague whose from Malacca, decided to take me out for a meal when he comes back to Malacca during the weekend. But that's when I felt so strange. I later did went for a meal with him on Saturday, but upon waiting for him at the hotel where my Christian Convention was held, I saw a few of my Christian friends waiting around. And so I got to chatting with them. It turns out that they were gonna go out to 'yum cha.' I didn't feel anything until everything was over, until the dinner (supper for me) with my colleague was over.

I got back to my hotel where one of my friend who decided to move-in to my room since I was staying alone asked me, "So you had fun, huh?" I didn't tell him the truth. Inside of me was wondering, I'm always encouraged to join my Christian friends but why is it that no one is able to join me when I wanna go out? Although I did enjoy going out with my colleague, but the truth is, why can't I enjoy the same way with my Christian friends? Anyway, I dunno how to put my feelings down into words. This is a really strange feeling that I'm neither happy nor sad, just finding it odd to be in such a situation.

Anyway, ignore the last two paragraphs.

So I came back tired and all with the need to go to work this morning. Funny to note, that I was much busier at the Christian Convention than at work.

So this morning started off great. Somehow I was off to a cheery start, eager to see some of my colleagues again. I passed out gifts that I bought for a few individuals and was still cheery, until 9.30 in the morning. Gloominess started to beset me again. The cause, somebody was in a foul mood and I was at the receiving end of it. I intended to give a present to the person but after receiving blunt remarks from that person, I started to drift off into my glum mode again and decided to keep the gift. And so it lasted until now. The gloominess still hovering over me as I typed in these words. Course I know, the rain did play a part in it but I don't mind the rain. It's such a soothing phenomenon for me.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Off To A Flying Start

He's left. He's finally left. Who? One of my housemate. He's finally left for Canada to further his studies.

It all began on the night of July 15, 2007. I was made the chauffeur to drive him and whoever is on tow to the airport and see him off for good. Somewhat thrill that he's finally leaving, we arrived at the airport around 11.45pm where his flight would be at 1 am. So far so good, car didn't stall, no accidents, we made it to the airport safe and sound along with his luggages. After parking my car and manage to find them at the flight check-in counter, I joined in to know more about his check-in information.

At first, there was the 'It's too heavy,' statement "You'll have to lighten the load to the specific limit weight." And so there he was, emptying as much as he can, (surprised that he intended to put his laptop in the luggage he was gonna check-in) until he reached the allowed limit. And then came the occasional clicking of the tongue of the check-in officer. That's when I started to worry. It turns out that he wasn't able to go after all since his luggage can't go all the way straight to Canada. It seems that the connecting flight to Shanghai does not allow this whereas the flight to Beijing would be possible. That would mean that he would have to obtain a Chinese visa, get out at Shanghai to claim his baggage, and then recheck-in his luggage again.

So to my dismay, after having my supper I had to take him home again. The next day, tired from the journey and all, I received his call stating that he's gonna go again today having his Chinese visa this time around. And so after a day of total discomfort at the office due to a lack of sleep, I again had to ferry him to the airport again that night. (I wonder why he can't ask the other housemate of mine to take him there.)

This time around, upon reaching the highway, I sped all the way to the airport going no less than a 120km/hour which is 10km/hour above the speed limit and often seeing my speedometer leveling at the 130km/hour mark. I was driving like this because of the sleepiness I felt before starting the journey and this seems to be the only way I can keep alert. We arrived at the airport in my record time (20 minutes, usually it takes up to 45 minutes) and this time around I prayed that he's really leaving for good.

Good thing everything went according to plan and after I finished my supper at the airport, I announce of my desire to depart for home. Reluctantly, those on tow said their goodbyes and off we go to a speedy ride home again. The ride home this time was longer than the previous night since I had to stop for petrol along the way home but nonetheless it was an enjoyable drive home. At this point I wish I hadn't crashed my car before because I couldn't go beyond the 130km/hour since it was already really unstable at 120km/hour. I remembered before the crash, my car only became unstable upon reaching 140km/hour. It was quite a smooth drive even after it reached 130km/hour. What a waste. However, the engine is still in good condition that's why I can still manage to go that fast. Maybe the next service I'll change the engine mount and see whether the stability of the car improves.

After such a gruesome experience, it took it's toll on me the next day at work. I started to doze off every hour from the time I started work, till it's time to leave. In the end, I slept through the whole night until morning.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

The Increasing Boredom Theory

Without noticing the changing of my own personality, I was given a rude awakening by my fellow colleague when one day he declared, "Will you please stop being so cool and start smiling a bit now?" It then finally occurred to me. The past few events and environmental changes that bit by bit rubbed on to me has grown into proportions unaware to me.

I can remember when I first started working in the company, I was known to be always smiling and people would tend to smile back at you even though they feel kinda creepy by my facial expression. A friend of mine even once said that I'm always smiling stupidly no matter what. Sometimes I even get some people questioning me out of the blue "What is so funny?" However, as mentioned before, things turned out differently that led to my personality change.

I think it all started with my mundaneness feeling of going through the same routine day by day, be it work-wise or religious-wise. Doing the same thing week after week, month after month, grew a wearisome feeling in me. Everyday at the same time, get up, go to work and if it's a night where my Christian meetings are on, come back home, if there's time, eat dinner, then proceed to Christian meetings, carry out duties, and by the time I arrived back home it would be time to go to bed and repeat the cycle again. Not even the little perks in life where people tend to find it enjoyable can save me from such death by boredom. Occasionally, I do get days off work, I do get out of the office to go laze around other places and I do go out and have dinners with friends but pretty soon I find myself back at square one again. A lot of people now has written me off as anti-social due to the fact that I started distancing myself from their social gatherings, but then again I do it because I feel there's not a tinge of fun that would engulf me whether I go or not based on experience. I did once plan social gatherings but a lot of times I ended up feeling that I shouldn't have done so in the first place.

Another factor that could have influence me this way was the going away of one of my housemate. Ever since he left back for his home country I kinda miss having him around helping out in the house.

I guess, another thing of influence to me was getting too much into the Suzumiya Haruhi storyline. It all started with the watching of the anime, 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi', a.k.a 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu'. After watching the anime I had the greatest urge to find out more on the storyline and thus has been reading the translated version of the novel book after book everyday without fail. I was very intrigued with it's way of writing for it's very captivating. And the storyline, although it's a very absurd storyline but nonetheless kept me faithfully following along on what was to happen next and what will be thought up further by the author. I would somewhat say that the captivating factor was not the storyline, but rather, it's interesting setup along with it's theories. It keeps me thinking and pondering over the possibilities. Why is it related to my boredom with this seemingly contradictory portion? Well, I somehow must have gotten too engrossed with the world of Suzumiya Haruhi and partially had the characters' personality that matches mine heightening my already existing ones. Suzumiya Haruhi always had a scowl on her face and so do I now. Suzumiya Haruhi is constantly bored with the world and so did I. Nagato Yuki had no expression whatsoever and might probably harbor it inside and so am I now, devoid of emotions from the looks of it outside.

This never ending depressing state acquires the better part of me but recently I have seemed to have changed again to a sometimes-smiling individual. Maybe the biggest factor is Suzumiya Haruhi since I have not read the novels in a while.