Thursday, December 29, 2005

Enlightenment in the Form of Rage

Just the other day, I was strucked with more unnecessary stress. The guilty party who was the source of it, my boss and his friend!

The friend who came down from Ireland (he's Malaysian Chinese but migrated there) made a promise to do some demo thinggy at the library at eleven a.m. I did as I was told and setup the equipment needed for the demo before eleven came. After setup was complete (along with making sure that things worked), I looked around the room and I break in cold sweat as I saw a full audience has arrived! They were asking me was I gonna do the demo. I told them no and that the person doing the demo is on his way and will be arriving soon. Unfortunately, it was not soon enough. Later, the audience, who consists of many head of departments were getting restless and most of them stormed out of the room and went elsewhere to either do something or chat around with some friends. I was a nervous wrecked then but I was helpless. I couldn't do anything and at that time I was feeling a bit angry. He arrived half an hour later with my boss and was acting like some big shot. I had to call everyone who were to view the demo to gather back at the room.

I thought that the nightmare was over but instead this big shot created more problems for me. His demo included using e-mail to send out and there were no e-mail configured with 'Microsoft Outlook Express' for him to use. (I'm still wondering why he couldn't just use his e-mail). So I got the blame for that for some reason even though I have asked my boss what does he need to use for the demo. So I tried to configure one for him but was unable to do so and so in the end I have to lend an e-mail account for him to use for the demo.

That incident surely confirmed my belief of one of two things that I hate the most. One is getting blamed for something which is not my fault. Especially when I get scolded for something I have no idea what the wrong was about and was not even involved in the incident. The second thing I hate the most is somebody else taking the credit of what I've done while the person taking the credit didn't even lift a finger.

With all these things added with the high level of stress that I'm currently coping with I have found myself dangerously at the borderline of the position that I was in during my high school years. I am craving to start fights and feeling addicted back to picking fights again.