Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Joys of Life Called Luxury

Aaaaah. Such a joy it is to indulge one's life into the comfort of luxury. I surely got a wonderful luxury going on for me since the date of August 23, 2005. What is it? A CHAUFFEUR!!! I've always had friends to pick me up for an occasion or event or even people picking me up to hang out together but never in my life do I have someone hired to specially pick me up and drop me off to work. (a school bus don't count!) Yes, ever since that fateful day arrived, my boss hired a taxi cab to pick me up everyday from Mondays to Fridays at my condo to my workplace. Come to think of it, I have been able to salvage quite a number of luxuries this year. I feel guilty and dumb in applying all these and I still do not know why I get myself all these luxuries when even at times I can't afford it. But no matter, I am now in the situation that I'm in now.

You see, in the beginning of the year, I started off fresh from being unemployed (as my former job was affecting my health and job performance, I had no choice but to quit). I was squeezing on a tight budget and being a real scrooge as much as possible. However, when my room rent increased, I've decided to move (it just isn't worth paying the amount for the tiny room). Fantasizing of the freedom I would possess should I rent a house, I went for the idea as I had a few friends indicating to me that they're moving and was thinking of somewhere in the area of PJ (Petaling Jaya).

Everything seemed to be going as planned. Two friends had decided to join moving in with me while I had an interview which they decided that they would offer me the contract to the job once I'm done with the medical checkup. Seems fine, until everything started to crumble when I was finalising my plans. The two friends of mine backed down from sharing the place I had already agreed to rent with works already being done. The worse part however came from the job I'm suppose to have. My medical checkup came back a bit of a problem. They found blood on my urine when they ran the test and although it's not visible nor serious, I was rejected for the job. From that point, I was feeling hopeless, not knowing what to do. I have arrived at a situation where there is no turning back. I have put myself into a locked position without a solution.

Oddly enough, I do not feel depress about the situation even though, I couldn't think of a way out. All I could think of was to ask God for help. This is the 1st time ever that I've felt so helpless. those who know of my situation tried to help me out as much as they can but more often than not nothing could be done about it.

After a few days passed, with works already finished with my new place and it was time to move, I still don't feel sad or depressed surprisingly, but rather helpless. Then, God's help came. まじで. Really! One Japanese guy, who was staying at one of my friend's place was coming back from Japan. However, my friend's place was already full, hence he decided to move in to my condo.

Next came another blessing in disguise! My current boss' employee was resigning which leaves the position opened! I was recommended to him as a replacement and voila! just like that I landed myself a job.

Not even a week went by, another pleasant surprise met me! Another Japanese guy, who's currently studying here in Malaysia was interested in renting my last vacant room. In less than a week I was set back on course. Indeed, a helping hand from God. What's more, after a month or so went by, more and more people were interested in moving in to my place, including the first two friends who backed down in the first place. Unfortunately, I have to turned down most of 'em for I had no more room to spare.

Actually, I do know why I did such a drastic change even though I do not have much to spare. I had a dream of providing cheap lodging for people who are in need. I was moved into action when chatting with some of my friends. One told me of the burden of being the head tenant and was contemplating of moving to a cheaper place since she was having problems with the other tenants. Another was thinking of moving to Petaling Jaya area to be closer to his place of worship. Still another wishing to have more for his daily living as he struggles to make ends meet. After speaking to such ones, I was moved to help people like them explaining my rash behavior. (By the way, I never did tell anybody about this reason of moving into a condo which is the main reason) But I could never break free from helping people. I could never stop trying to help people even though I did force myself to do so before. It ended up me feeling rather unhappy as my conscience bothers me non-stop. Hence, I decided to keep doing as best as I can, even though I would need to suffer most of the time. What to do? I'm a slave to try being helpful although I'm not much of a help. That's why my favorite scripture used to be Acts 20:35. Used to? Yup. It's now Malachi 3:10 where God says, "Test me out, please, in this respect, and see that I shall not open to you the floodgates of the heavens and actually empty out upon you a blessing until there is no more want".

Well, currently I'm managing financially (not as good as I used to), I guess luxury always comes with a price. But it was priceless to experience such a turnover, that a way out was provided for me. But I still wish that I kept a simple life, for humans could never be contented if they don't want to. And added luxuries merely meant added burdens and responsibilities.